I was laid off from my last 9-to-5 job on a Tuesday.

I knew it was coming. I had moved across the country, there were many changes, and when the layoffs started, I knew I was going. 

As soon as my layoff conversation was over, I got off the phone, drank some coffee (I’m a coffee enthusiast), and knew that I needed to book a ticket and head to a beach. Sounds very cliche, in fact, even as I write this I’m rolling my eyes — but it’s what I thought.  

So I booked a ticket to Maui and was on a plane that Friday. 

It’s a weird thing that happens when your brain all of a sudden has all this space, all the room to breathe, think, and wonder — the work deadlines, topics, emotions, meetings all gone — nothing to worry about. Sitting on the beautiful Maui beach, I only felt relief, freedom, and space. My brain felt like it had space, gosh, was it strange! I wasn’t sure what was next; all I knew how to do was work and work hard.

When I returned from Maui, I was not clear on what was next — except this: I would no longer be an employee of my life, but rather, the CEO! 

I wasn’t even sure what this meant entirely at the time, but I did know with complete conviction that I would no longer live outside my values and send a representative version of myself out into the world.  

After returning from that trip, I started my journey to get clear about the most authentic part of me.  What were my values? How did I know when I was my most real self, my rawest version? Why is it important to honor these values, and who am I when I’m honoring them?  I had spent so many years sending a version of me into my career, into my life, feeling conflicted between the safety of what I knew and the excitement of what I knew I wanted to do! I spent months exploring my core values, dusting off my intuition, and getting focused on my purpose. 

Now real talk: it was not easy! It’s been painful, hard, joyful, and perplexing, but even with all this, would I change where I am now? NO WAY!

What I’ve learned — and continue to learn —  is that I am now my truest self: building connections, standing up for justice, infusing everything with enthusiasm and joy, and living with a purpose.  

I started to commit to these core values that I now consider as my compass. What I learned from this is that my intuition is strong, and when I honored it, I felt different. 

These days, I’m this new version of me, of my true self, of the parts of me that honor values and trust my intuition, and I’ve just slowed down.

It’s not perfect — often my life looks messy, but I wouldn’t change it for anything!